My Rekindled Faith in American Idol—I’m Shocked too

So, I’ll be the first to admit that beyond its glory days (ie. the reign of Kelly Clarkson & the hype of the first season), the only American Idol I have watched has been a direct result of my lack of cable options.   And, even then, unless it was the season finale or the beginning bloopers, sorry Ryan Seacrest and Fox, you weren’t getting my attention.  On a slight tangent though, I do love shamelessly laughing at people who think they are God’s gift to singing, even if these same people typically piss me off at karaoke.  Everyone should really take a hint from Season 9’s General Larry Platt.  At least, even though he sucked, he did have audience appeal.  “Pant’s On The Ground” anyone?

Anyhow, where I’m going with this whole story is that, thanks to my friend Crystal and my less than packed schedule, I ended up at the “American Idol: Top Ten Girls” dress rehearsal yesterday.  Subsequently, my love (ok, maybe too strong of a word) for American Idol has been rekindled.  At least for this season anyways.

Let’s start from the beginning.  First off, anyone who knows me knows that I am the most impatient person alive.  Needless to say, I was not pleased to discover the long wait on a longer sidewalk that was to be our ultimate fate.  All of this in hopes of catching a glimpse at Ellen Degeneres and Ryan Seacrest or, perhaps, Simon Cowell?  Why the hell am I waiting?  I don’t even like this show.   So close, yet, so far.  Thank God for the Bagel Broker (the best everything bagel with veggie cream cheese I’ve had in a while) and good friends. 

Skipping past all the bullshit, we finally make it inside where a very nice, though verging on Ed Hardy/Affliction wearing young man, picks out our seats for us.  We are convinced he wanted to sit us in the front-row, but our egos are still given a little boost when we are told our section is always on camera so feel free to stand up and dance if the song should so move us.  Was this a free invitation to embarrass ourselves?       

Thank god our lip singing, offbeat clapping and not so discreet checking out of the “male vocals” (as Jenna so dubbed them) wasn’t caught on film!  In fact, unless you had binoculars and a really good eye, our debut wasn’t so much a debut at all.  Probably a good thing I didn’t set my Facebook status to “hey everyone, watch me on American Idol tonight!”  Eek. 

Anywho, surprisingly or perhaps not, despite the late start, the dress rehearsal went a lot like the actual show.  Same wardrobe, same songs, same order, same Ryan Seacrest.  Minus the stand in judges (damnit) and a couple mishaps and restarts, all went accordingly.  Back to the dress rehearsal though.  Based on the fact that I have not seen a single glimpse of this season (on purpose) or its varied pool of contestants, each of these girls had a fair shot in my mind.  Crystal Bowersox, not my friend Crystal, though I did try to send her up on stage, started things off.  Maybe it was because we were still a little bit disheveled from the wait or perhaps too busy gawking at the size of “Bubba’s” biceps (Bubba being the name we so affectionately gave to our new favorite male Idol, Michael Lynche), but Bowersox did not quite leave the lasting impression in our minds the way she did the judges.  On the other hand, while we were shoveling down burgers at IHOP, she might have really kicked her live performance up a notch.  Luckily (did I really just say that?), she was the only one we missed. 

Now, I’m no Simon Cowell, but there were definitely some obvious standouts, good and bad.  Haeley, you were cute and all, but your rendition of Miley Cyrus’s, “The Climb,” was far from it.  Guess the judges thought so too.  Hey, back to school sucks but there’s always high school choir?  Michelle, on the other hand, I was really rooting for, if only for shallow reasons like the fact that I couldn’t stop obsessing over her killer biker-rocker-bride ensemble.  I now officially need a boyfriend with a Harley and an engaged friend (ie. black cutaway gloves and an excuse to go “wedding dress” shopping!)  I love you Vera Wang!  So do Randy and Simon.

As for me, I think I’ll be rooting for Katie and Siobhan—she really won me over with that high note.  And, of course, I’ll be watching my number one teddy bear, Bubba.  After some research, I found out his wife just had a baby girl while he was on Idol.  Congrats Michael!  

Perhaps if my whole American Idol audience member career doesn’t pan out, there’s always MTV.  Yes, I think I forgot to mention, in the midst of all the obnoxious line waiting and mid-discussion of how our group of girlfriends really ought to have our own MTV reality show, a girl from MTV casting actually approached us.  What the coincidence!?  My heart however sunk a little when she said we had the “perfect look” for this new show they were filming, “Disaster Date.”  Shit.  Do we look that desperate?  Should I feel insulted? Uhhhhh, that sounds fun? Naturally, being the naïve idiot I am, I give her my number, just like I do to the guys at the bar I don’t really want to talk to and will never be interested in.  C’mon Liz, what are you doing?  Kimberly called today.  I let it go to voicemail.  I mean, I’ve got some American Idol to watch!